Signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, if you are looking for this it means you do have doubt about your guy’s feelings for you with respect to your relationship. You are showing your true emotions but not getting the appropriate response from him. Such behavior of him might have raised your eyebrow and you need to get a confirmation if he wants a relationship with you.
If he is with you but doesn’t want relationship with you, it means he is not serious about this relationship. This kind of casual dating is harmful for the foundations of a strong and long relationship. You need to make yourself clear to him about your expectations as well as get yourself confirmed about his seriousness for the same. You have to know for sure if he is truly into this relationship or wasting your time.
Now, you might be paying more attention to his actions to figure out if he is interested in a relationship with you or not. It could be a little disheartening for you but you have to find out the truth. It would be better for both of you in the long run. You may be thinking that if he doesn’t want a relationship with you then why is he still with you? There could be a million reasons for this also but you first need to check out the validity of relationship from both sides.
It will be an awkward moment for both of you if you ask him, “Do you want to be in a relationship with me?” But the good thing is that you don’t have to ask him this question. You just need to look for a few signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Read below to know those signs.
Importance of signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you
It would be a critical moment for you to decide your future course of action when you come to know that a guy who is dating you since long but he still is not sure about this relationship. You must know for sure if he is truly interested in you or is wasting your time. To find out this, you spend a lot of time to interpret his behavior. You need to be completely sure about this relationship before you move on to the next level.
I know, you understand people’s actions and try to judge them on the basis of their behavior. Your judgement might be accurate sometimes but you are probably not a mind reader, so you don’t want to depend completely on your immature judgement. You also don’t want to ask him a direct question about this.
Good news is that you neither have to ask him nor you have to be a mind reader to discover this. Because there are a few signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. With the help of these signs you can determine a guy’s true emotions about your relationship.
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Signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you
While you may want a long-term committed relationship but not sure about your partner’s side, it’s important to pay attention to these 18 signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you:
1. He don’t want to name the relationship
I believe both of you are perfectly aged to start a serious romantic relationship. At this age none of you would be hasitant to be called as boyfriend or girlfriend if you are completely into one another.
If your guy wants to keep your relationship secret and don’t want to announce it publically, it may be his disinterest to keep this going on for long. He might not be 100% sure about the feelings he has for you now. He may not be feeling the magic which you are feeling, so he is looking for another option.
He might be taking double advantage by dating other girls also, if he is officially not engaged in a relationship with you. By doing this, he is dating you and at the same time keeping himself available for others also. If he is avoiding to be called as your boyfriend, it could be one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
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2. His inconsistent communication
If he is not interested in relationship with you, you may notice an inconsistent flow of communication from his side. One day he may be finding excuses to call or text you even without having any reason, but the other day you won’t get a single call from him. You are keeping it regular from your side but you can’t say that you will receive his text/call today. It is one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you as he may not be giving you much of importance.
3. He’s not attentive to you
If you’re not getting his attention, it is one of the important signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. You need to notice how much attentive he is towards you when both of you are together. Is he always on his phone? Do he always looking at other people around when you met? If he is not listening to you attentively and you have to repeat the things again, it could be a signal that he is not interested in you. There are many other things to notice.
If he is not interested in you then you may find him getting distracted away from you very easily. Even a least important phone call can ruin your date. When you both meet, he’s not with you mentally. You find him mentally somewhere else, he may talk about every other thing but you. This kind of his behavior could make you feel like you are not of much importance for him. This sign is very strong to believe that he isn’t interested in relationship with you but you need to check for other signs too.
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4. You can’t trust him
He is constantly letting you down on different grounds and you create an image of him that you can’t trust on. This is one of the clear signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He’s unreliable in your eyes due to many reasons. He promises you a lot but keeps only a few of them. It shows he has other priorities in his life which are more important than you.
If he is giving no importance to you then you need to thing again about this relationship. You may be committed to this but he is not. You need to make things clear so you can start relationship with a sound foundation. He may be not trying his best to keep his promises because he is not completely into this and doesn’t want to keep this relationship with you. You need to be sure about this and decide your next move as soon as possible.
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5. He isn’t emotionally connected with you
When you are having doubts and you are looking for the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, take a close look at his emotional involvement with you. Does he share all of his emotions with you just as you are sharing with him. Or he doesn’t let you go deep into his emotions by having talks about his feelings for you. If he is interested in you and the relationship, then he would obviously express his feelings that he has for you.
He can gain your love and trust by making you aware about his feelings for you. In an emotional relationship, people share all types of emotions with each other as they are the closest to each other. There is no point of staying in a relationship without being emotionally connected. If you find him not opening up himself to let you enter his emotional space, it’s a sign for you to take caution. He may be not considering you that much close to him as he is to you.
6. He doesn’t involve you in his life
If a guy is into a serious relationship with you then he will introduce you to his family members and friends. He wants you to meet every person who is important in his life. He also want you to mix up with them as you are also an important part of his life. This shows he is serious about a long term relationship with you.
If you are looking for signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you then you have to notice if he has introduced you to his inner circle ever. And when you asked him to introduce you to his family & friends, what was his take on this? Was he avoiding such a situation, if so then it is an alarming signal that you must notice. This signifies that he doesn’t give you much importance and don’t find any need to introduce you to people who matter to him.
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7. You’re the one who puts in all the efforts
In a two way relationship like yours, both of you need to act in a balancing way to make it work perfectly. You put in some efforts by investing emotions and expects him to do the same. If only you puts in all the efforts to make this relationship work but doesn’t receive the same response from other side, it would create a doubt in your mind about his interest in the relationship.
Your every initiative should be appreciated by him in the form of another initiative. Both of you need not be an equal contributor every time. Sometimes you give in more efforts than him and sometimes vice versa. A reciprocal effort from both side is very important in a relationship. It helps in building a mutual trust and confidence on each other. If you can mention many moments when he was unresponsive to your actions then it may be one of the alarming signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
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8. He don’t see a future with you
If the guy is looking for a long term relationship with you then he would definitely make long term plans that includes you. He would make various plans as both of you together and discuss the same with you. He would invite you to various family functions, even he may take suggestions from you on issues related to those functions.
If he is interested in relationship with you, he would have worried about things related to future. He would have discussed thing related to future education, job plans, business plans, etc. You would have been planning vacation trips together well in months advance. But if he doesn’t want a relationship with you, he would be hesitant to make any commitments for the future.
9. He is a mystery man
Do you find him disappearing frequently, when you don’t have any idea about him, where is he and what’s he doing? He comes back after some time but without enough logical explanation. If he is not seriously interested in you, he may suddenly disappears from your life without giving any hint about where is he going and when he’d be coming back. He might be having other person or other issues in his life which are more important to him than you. May be there is something he is hiding from you and don’t want you to know about it. His mysterious personality for you is a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
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10. He makes it clear himself
If he already made it clear to you by saying that he doesn’t want a relationship with you, you need to believe this and take a note of this. You need to believe that statement until and unless it was made in a different mindset. You may be eagerly interested to build a relationship with him, hence you didn’t took his clarification seriously. Or you might thought that he is currently not interested but may change his mind in the future. But you need to keep this statement in mind and check for other signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
11. His past isn’t completely over yet
He might be having a strong relationship with someone in the past and recently got break up. Due to which he might have faced a lot of emotional trauma which is still not over yet. He might have divorced and kids separated from him or the separation process is still going on. You don’t know what type of past he has gone through. It could be a heartbreak, divorce, debt, etc. These are some of the events which affects a man’s emotions a lot. If he is still got something going on with his past then he can’t be open for a new relationship wholeheartedly.
To let go something tragic happened in the past is a sign he wants to move on and wants to give himself another chance. But if he is not completely over of his tragic past then he couldn’t move forward. He may be still remembering and missing the happy moments he had in his past with his ex wife or girlfriend. He might be still engaged with his ex someway or the other, hence he is unable to devote quality time to you. Such kind of engagement may stop him from connecting with you emotionally. He might be in a ‘not over yet’ situation and he still trying to pursue his past relationship. May be his ex is pursuing him and want to work things out.
12. His vague talks and plans
He makes plans of spending good time with each other but he cancel the plan at the last moment. Can you tolerate this? Probably yes because there may be some urgent reasons involved. But what if he does it frequently? This could be one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. You may also find him left you hanging in the middle of a situation. He disappears, no calls, no text, no reply, when you need him at the main moment.
If a man can’t respond to your calls or text in a timely manner, it means he doesn’t respect you. You can’t imagine such a person as your husband who acts irresponsible and disrespectful to you.
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13. There’s a gap between both of you
If you can notice an emotional gap between you then you need to think again about the relationship. You may be trying your best and making attempts to get closer to him. But if he is not interested in you, he won’t allow you to come closer and he will always try to keep a distance between both of you. Because of him, all your attempts to come closer are going in vein. This may be a one sided relationship which is kept by you only.
In a mutual relationship, both of you need to take your part of initiative to come closer. For a healthy relationship, both of you need to connect emotionally with each other in order to develop a better understanding.
14. He has other issues to solve first
Does your guy is having a list of things to be done before they get into a romantic relationship? If so then he may be one of those people who give some things more priority and keep the personal relationship at last. They always have a list of things which are most important to them even at the cost of their personal relationships. Those things could be buying a house, achieving a higher work position, attaining a good income level, etc.
He keeps these desires upper than the relationship matters in his priority list. If he has other things to do first, it means he is not mentally ready for relationship. When you see him giving high priority to other things than the relationship, you need to assume it as one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
15. He’s there for his own benefits
Sometimes you may be feeling that he is with you for his own benefits only. You won’t find him calling you frequently just to have a check on you. Also he might not have introduced you to his friends and family members. If he is emotionally into you and wants to have relationship with you, he would have involved you in every aspect of his life.
He may be not interested in you for a relationship and with you for his own good. You need to notice whether he approach you just to garner the relationship without any specific purpose or he reaches you only when he wants something. If you don’t want to feel being used or hurt, then you need to take a caution of this aspect and look for other signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. All these will help you to take a correct and rational decision for future.
16. He’s more concerned about bedroom only
Getting intimate and having sex is an important part of any romantic relationship but it is not the conclusion. If he always call you at late nights and want to hang out with you at lonely places, what’s he having in mind? You will find him avoiding going out for romantic dates most of the time. If he only wants you physically then it would be impossible to connect with him emotionally. He can’t empathies your feelings about him and he is not ready to make commitments.
If he is not spending time with you out of the bedroom, it’s a sign he is not interested in you for a long time. Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship but it’s not the most of it. There are many other elements in a relationship, dating, understanding, sharing of emotions, jealousy, fighting, etc. All of these helps in building a strong relationship base. If he’s not interested in contributing to all of these then he’s not the guy for you.
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17. Check his social media
Social media and digital apps could be very important tools to figure out anyone’s reliability. If a guy is dating you but stull available on dating apps, it could be a sign that he is looking for a new partner. If he has mentioned nothing about you on his social profile and still making flirting comments on others girls, this is a sign you can’t ignore.
You need to take a careful look at his social profiles, his weird activities could be one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you for long term.
18. He doesn’t go out of the friend zone
In a relationship, everyone wants to spend more time with their partner. They want to engage with one another for maximum time to understand each other’s feeling. They want to know about each other as much as they can. If you are in a relationship but find your guy sometimes behaving like just a friend, you need to take a note of that. When you met him somewhere accidentally, have you noticed any weird change in his behavior. Was he acting like a normal friend to you and not giving any special importance to you which he usually gives? Or he just gave you one minutes attention and then left you on your own? Was he feeling nervous in front of someone else?
Conclusion: Signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you
Here is a quick recap summery of all the signs discussed above:
- He don’t want to name the relationship
- His inconsistent communication
- He’s not attentive to you
- You can’t trust him
- He isn’t emotionally connected with you
- He doesn’t involve you in his life
- You’re the one who puts in all the efforts
- He don’t see a future with you
- He is a mystery man
- He makes it clear himself
- His past isn’t completely over yet
- His vague talks and plans
- There’s a gap between both of you
- He has other issues to solve first
- He’s there for his own benefits
- He’s more concerned about bedroom only
- Check his social media
- He doesn’t go out of the friend zone
Till now you have been told all the major signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. You understands why these signs are important for your relationship, how these are affecting your life. When you see enough signs which are indicating that your guy is not interested in you, then there is no benefit in staying that situation for long. Be confident for yourself and move on for another chance!
Relationship psychologist James Bauer’s has published his new video in which he talks about these natural biological instincts in more detail which is easy to understand. In this video, James reveals a relationship “secret” which is known to only a few women in the world.